Thursday, May 6, 2010

Now Zombitches Are Attacking Me!

Okay, so last night I had a another weird dream.

There was a rap concert on a basketball court contained by barbed wire fencing. Apparently, even in my dreams rap concerts bore me.

So I climbed the fence to escape. I saw why the barbed wire.


Hot Chick Zombies. In Bikinis.

Zombified, ugly and rotting. But undeadly sexy. I mean, they were like Sirens of Greek mythology. You know the ones that sang to sailors and made them commit suicide? Yeah, them. But not.

Instead of mesmerizing voices like the Sirens, they had robust, pulsating, glowing, hypnotizing asses.
The Gluteus Necrophilius were beckoning me to them by some unholy bitchcraft. But I was strong.

At first.

They were walking backwards towards me, pulling off their bikinis, revealing those decaying, but smooth, but oozing, but tempting, but gross...asses. I was in a trance, succumbing slowly.

The leader started grinding her undead ass on my crotch. And the circus tent went up.

Then her head twisted around Exorcist-style and tried to bite my shoulder. I held her drooling face back and ripped off her foot and shoved it in her mouth like a sock so she wouldn't eat me.

Take that, succubus!

The taste must've been delicious because she went crazy gnawing on it with what teeth she had left. This was my chance to escape.

But I got caught in her ass trance (or so I want to believe) and I pulled down my pants--
Paranormally horny, supernaturally stiffened.

Then I realized I was still under the zombie spell and shook it off right as she was finishing her foot/food and turning her lifeless, starving eyes to her fresh Human Carpaccio. Me.

Her drooling teeth were chattering with hunger like that Cenobite from Hellraiser.
I pushed her off and started running with my pants at my ankles, so I wasn't much faster than top zombie speed.

Luckily, in all dreams I can fly if I remember I have the ability.

I didn't do that.

I woke up. It was smarter.

I was sweating. And there was drool on my pillow.

I don't drool. And then there was the circus tent.


  1. i'm disturbed. i won't lie. there is a very fine line i draw about 'digging' creatures that are trying to eat you. i draw that line at vampires.

  2. I think it's more disturbing when you're digging creatures you're trying to eat.

    "Bad shepherd! bad! bad! baaaaahd!" :)