Wednesday, December 17, 2008

The Shoe Revolution will be Televised.

I constantly hear non-Americans talk shit about America. They think it’s okay to do so because everyone does it. And Americans often tolerate it.

I hear people from politically corrupt countries say how horrible and corrupt American politicians are.

I hear people from countries which bomb each other tell me how violent America is. Or how we're such warmongers.

I hear people from countries who’d never consider marrying a person of color because it’s not accepted in their culture tell me how racist America is.

I’ve heard people from countries where the majority of the population is illiterate tell me how stupid Americans are.

I say to these people—Yes, you are right. Guilty as charged.

Besides, I’m quite sure if you had the size, wealth and power of America, you’d be completely different than us. You’d make everything perfect just like it is in your country, instead of how it is in mine. Please come fix my country for me. Hurry, please.

I don’t mind pointing out the fucked up shit with America. I don’t mind if you do it. Just don’t get upset if I point out your fucked up shit. I’m an equal opportunity shit-pointer-outer.

There are countries in this world that endorse modern-day slavery and human trafficking and everyone pretends to be blind toward it. Throw shoes at those leaders, too—if you dare.

There are countries in this world where little children are forced to work hard labor all day in sweatshops. Throw shoes at those leaders, too. I mean, we need to all get together and throw shoes at leaders. Yeah, disrespect them out of office. I'm sure that's an effective method.

There are countries in this world that allow little girls to have their clitorises cut off. Throw shoes at those leaders, too. Maybe even call them bad names and make funny YouTube videos about them. Until they are forced to leave office due to humiliation.

So many countries commit heinous atrocities against humanity, but no one throws shoes at their leaders. Most don’t have the balls to do it without fear of death or life imprisonment. And trust me when I say I think Bush is absolutely despicable. I just don’t think he should be the only object of our anger and frustration. He is only a product of the savagery, cruelty and ignorance inherent in humankind. Go in the mirror and cast the first shoe there. That's the only solution I can offer.

In modern times, never has it been any other country that people from all over wanted to go to for freedom and opportunity like The United States of America. NEVER. Never in modern history has one nation benefited mankind to this degree. Yet now everyone wants my country to fall. I truly believe if America falls, it’ll be a great tragedy in the world. If America falls, it won't make the world a better place. An if I were a betting man, I'd say this place would go straight down the tubes, if America was to fall. And if it's headed that way now, then it'd do it a whole lot faster. Shit, just look at the economy.