Monday, May 10, 2010

Cyborg is Just Another Word for Cool Super Powers

One day you're going to be as cool as a cyborg. With Super Duper Powers!!!
I know you're telling yourself, "Caca del toro, Hunterino."

Oh, but no. Would I lie to you? No. Because otherwise I'd just keep these super powers to myself and dominate you all. The proof is below.

Just look what you get for signing up for the prototype stage:

1.) Pseudo-Telekinesis
First we've figure out how to operate machinery with our brains.
See exhibit a--The Jedi Trainer Toy. A frickin' toy that operates on measuring brainwaves.

They always start with the kids, don't they?

But trust me, MIT and this German company are going further. Soon you won't need to even touch the computer. Telekinesis. Sort of. Well, it's not. But it's still an awesome power to have.

2.) Super Sight
You'll have to get your reality augmented to always be able to "see" the web. Here, check out Layar. Of course spammy advertising will pay for all this for you, as you're about to see. But soon after being connected you'll begin to see the world like this:

You're going to have to be able see this new reality stuff with stuff like this:

4.) Super Strength

With this exoskeletal armor like this that multiplies human strength. Created by a company, ironically, called Cyberdine.

5.) Telepathy

Your mobile phone will be in your brain, so that's convenient.
You're going to need a wi-fi connection, now ain't ya? Yes you is.
Not to worry. The Koreans have figured that part out for you. Human skin transmits those signals super awesomely.

6.) Unlimited Power Ups!

Wireless electricity, too. Thanks to Tesla.

Soon you too can be a super hero like...

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