Thursday, September 30, 2010

How to Save Your Little Girl From Hip Hop...

One day I heard this little girl rapping. Her mother was right there. Singing with her. A very trashy rap song.

Now do you want your little princess singing raunchy, misogynistic, whorish rap songs?

Have you ever caught her "droppin' it to da flo?" or "Droppin' it like it's hot?" and all those other disgusting dances better reserved for strip clubs? Well, that stripper is someone's daughter. Someone's mom. Maybe your mom. Maybe your daughter.

No. Not
your daughter.
Do you know why? Because you're going to prevent that from ever happening!

Buy your little boo boo bear the all-new "Electrified Stripper's Pole." And she'll drop to the flo' every time until she learns her lesson about crap music. She won't be singing' "Make it Rain" anytime soon–because water conducts electricity! Her subconscious mind will equate stripping and freaky dancing to pain and power outages.

Electrified Stripper's Pole for Girls (and young sons who you suspect will grow up to be gay or transgender because you mistakenly named them "Shannon" or "Ivory.")

"She'll drop...because it's hottttttttt!"

You can become a better, more attentive parent today for the "shockingly" low price of $19.99 + tax.