Thursday, October 7, 2010

Are You Self-Gay?

A really weird, possibly made-up discussion

Someone:  If you masturbate, then technically you're having sex with yourself.

Hunter:  True. I think.

Someone:  Well, that makes you gay. Or bisexual.

Hunter: I don't know exactly what it is that YOU think about while jerking off, but I ain't thinking about me.

Someone:  The guys in prison ain't thinking about the soap-dropper.

Hunter:  Yeah, but masturbation isn't exactly self-rape.

Someone:  Well, did yourself ask yourself if it was okay to do that to yourself?

Hunter:  Well, I didn't put up much of a fight. I'd say it was mutual consent.

Someone:  Well, what if you met yourself from a parallel dimension and you two had synchronized psychic brains? Would you jerk him off?

Hunter:  Maybe. That wouldn't make me gay. That'd make me a multi-dimensional traveler experimenting with the fabric of time and space. At that point, all rules of experimentation are off the table. Dude, if you had a f@cking multiple personality disorder, and one of them was a hot chick would you have a wet dream with her? I mean, hell, man...shut up.

Someone:  Well, would you suck your own c@ck?

Hunter:  What?! Dude. No. Conversation. Over.

Someone:  I mean, you drink your own saliva. That's like tongue kissing yourself. You're totally self-gay! You think you're pretty hot, don't ya, huh?

Hunter: If I called you a b!tch and smacked the sh!t out of you, would that be like hitting a woman?


  1. I think about myself all the time, when I masturbate. I don't thing that's gay, that's called loving yourself and taking good care of yourself. :)

  2. Come out of the "self-gay" closet, Mr. or Ms. Anonymous. It's okay. You're with friends here. :) We need to teach people it's okay to love and touch yourself.

    I remember the first time I took myself to the movies...I mean, not like Pee Wee Herman though. :)