Sunday, December 12, 2010

Operation: Anti-Claus

Target: Saint Nicholas

Alias: Santa Claus

Age: Unknown

Occupation: Mad Scientist

Charges against Santa:

1. Kidnapping and genetically manipulating of midg-uh--little people to have pointy ears and speak in cheery songs. Also known as "elving."

2. The enslavement of aforementioned mini-mutants.

3. Illegal gamma radiation exposure experiments on reindeer.

4. Unlicensed, unregistered aircraft operation.

5. Millions of counts of breaking & entering.

6. Mass bootlegging of toy brands & pirating intellectual property.

7. Unlawful factory operation, theft of natural resources and environmental pollution.

8. Illegal surveillance and invasion of privacy of billions of children.

Below map is an outline of engagement and elimination of target. 

Parachute down to Rudolph. Sever his nose to disorient reindeer.

Get to Santa with grappling hook. Snap his neck.

Tie toy bag to his leg. Push him out of sled into Arctic Ocean.

Guide reindeer back to The North Pole Military Base.

Sleigh will make sneaking pass the defenses easy.

Set explosives in the factory and elf cottages.

Free Mrs. Claus and deflower her.

Mission Accomplished.

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