Friday, January 16, 2009

Scientist Discover Elusive Style Gene attached to Gay Gene?

I walked into this house party and this dude starts hitting on me. I mean, he acted like I was Penis Christ looking for disciples. Please, I don't want any stakes in my hand. I knew he was one of those homosexuals that pretend to be straight until they get a bit o' liquid courage in them. I guess he felt motivated to make a move on me because of my eccentric dress code. He assumed I was homosexual because I was dressed really uniquely, as I do.

Does this outfit accentuate my cock?

I've come to realize people equate fashion sense with homosexuality. I don't know why. Because gay dudes I know or have met or seen don't dress any better than straight dudes. Their homes aren't neater. Their hair isn't sharper. They just prefer to have a penis pushed in their ass.

I mean, look how stylish he is.

Besides, if you've ever been to Dubai, you'd know how most of the men from one particular country (which shall remain anonymous) dress in a style that most of us Westerners would consider gay attire. They even get manicures and get their eyebrows arched. That's pure gaiety, in my opinion. But that's another blog.

I don't make it a point to say I'm straight (because I don't care what people think) but I guess I have to in order to make my point.

Gay dudes have been branded as fashionistos and style gurus, as if their gayness automatically makes them fashionable. Bullshit. If there's a gay gene, then a style gene isn't automatically attached to it. Besides, no one is BORN with good taste. Not that I've tasted myself or anything. That was called a joke. But seriously, I developed this style over the years. Maybe I was born with the seed, the imagination, but I had to cultivate it. Nurture over nature.

Besides, who said gay dudes have great fashion sense? And why? I see no connection with wanting a dick in your ass and having a great sense of style. Was that offensive? Sorry. But I find it stupid to assume someone is gay because they have a great sense of style...or that someone has a great sense of style because they are gay.

They say this gay guy has taste. They who?

I'm just wondering--if gay dudes are so stylish, then why aren't gay day parades filled with stylish couture, rather than the uniform of so-called sexual deviants.

I should make the point that the gay guy who was hitting on me was dressed really lame.


  1. I just want to know if you let him but his cock in your ass.

  2. You should be a sit-down comedienne, Miss Accidental Philosopher.

  3. Seriously, I never thought of it - but you make a great point. Why do we associate stylish with gay?...isn't that being a bit sexist too. Sometimes we can stereotype folks and no one ever questions until now- good job!

  4. you know i never will. and you woudn't want me to.

  5. "Does this outfit accentuate my cock?" Well it depends on whether the placement of that light saber is by accident. I know one thing, be it a gene or not but it takes no time for a gay man to hone in on the package. I guess it can be compared to how a straight man can tell a woman's measurements within minutes of meeting her. So, if you place correctly positioned toys near your penis it not only accentuates your outfit but also a gay man's imagination. =) And your black, so I am guessing it may accurately illustrate size too. Or is that just a stereotype?

  6. Come on.. you know you're gay...,


  7. Accidental Philosopher, you should write a whole sit-down comedy routine. I'm sure I can get you booked for a show entertaining tree moss.

  8. Petra, if I'm gay, you're straight. :)

  9. you'd pay to watch me grind my toofs.
    don't front.

  10. @Accident Philosophy:
    I'll pay double if you can take a dump in reverse. No camera tricks, either. :)

  11. In 1980 in a grim, post-industrial, Northern English town when i became a teenager, it was not advisable to stand out from the crowd. But this did not stop me costumizing second-hand clothes, wearing make-up and having a 'mohawk' or any other damn hair-chop i could improvise...even though this could mean getting my arse kicked.....oh no,..i it made me who i am today.
    So when i picture the legendary Hunterino- torch swaying as he strides down main-street in his jodpurs , giant scissors hanging proudly from his ear - i know that i was not a victim of the viscious early eighties style Pogroms for nothing! was so that todays' young turks' can go about their business un-molested, free of gratuitous insinuations regarding their preferred choice of sexual partner.............and be admired!

  12. ....and i do dig the way you carry the torch for future style soldiers gentleman- dude!..

  13. lol. you gotta love the (il)logic.

    that is a dope outfit, i don't know if it screams gay, but that's just me.

  14. Glad to find you here, offending and shining your light as no other can.

    I basically wanted to say something other than nice blog, thats about all I came up with.

  15. I HAVE TO appologize. I haven´t come visit your site before.
    You can deny me now, if you wanna.

    But what I really need to say right now is; YOU ARE A FUCKIN GENIUS.
    You know, I knew, I KNOW.
    But you are.
    Take it all in , mista :D

  16. One of the most entertaining blog posts I've read to date!

    Attributing style to just one sexual orientation seems a bit exclusive and snobbish. HMMM.

  17. dammit, it's that whole model minority thing. reverse discrimination. something.

    we are not all the stylistas. point in fact: when i (unstylish clod that i am) was in the same school with you (trendsetter and style mogul), i don't think anyone confused which of us was the gay one...

    dude i didn't realize you were so sharp-witted. (wait, is THAT a gay trait?)