I am hosting a new sports event this summer. It's called the Dumbolympics.
You'll have to qualify first by submitting answers to the following questions:
1. Is meth a good source of vitamin X?
2. Are mobile homes really mobile?
3. Do you find three-story buildings too difficult to read?
4. Do you know for a fact that Jesus wore a mullet?
If you answered yes or no to any of those questions, then you've qualified.
Now the fun part. These are just a few of the games you can participate in:
1. Bobbing for Piranhas - Floss your teeth really hard before playing.
2. Noose Bungee Jumping - Said noose will be made of copper wire for your safety.
3. Loogie Catching - hock a big nasty one, spit it high up and your partner catches it in their mouth. Do this back and forth...whoever does this the most without missing, wins all the loogie in the competition!
4. DodgeCar - played on the biggest field ever - THE HIGHWAY!
5. Rattlesnake Relay - instead of batons, we use Rattlers! yeehaw!
6. Then our closing musical event is a KKK parade through a New Orleans ghetto!
*If you wish to participate in or events try-outs are at noon o'clock AM. Sharp.