A really weird, possibly made-up discussion
Someone: If you masturbate, then technically you're having sex with yourself.
Hunter: True. I think.
Someone: Well, that makes you gay. Or bisexual.
Hunter: I don't know exactly what it is that YOU think about while jerking off, but I ain't thinking about me.
Someone: The guys in prison ain't thinking about the soap-dropper.
Hunter: Yeah, but masturbation isn't exactly self-rape.
Someone: Well, did yourself ask yourself if it was okay to do that to yourself?
Hunter: Well, I didn't put up much of a fight. I'd say it was mutual consent.
Someone: Well, what if you met yourself from a parallel dimension and you two had synchronized psychic brains? Would you jerk him off?
Hunter: Maybe. That wouldn't make me gay. That'd make me a multi-dimensional traveler experimenting with the fabric of time and space. At that point, all rules of experimentation are off the table. Dude, if you had a f@cking multiple personality disorder, and one of them was a hot chick would you have a wet dream with her? I mean, hell, man...shut up.
Someone: Well, would you suck your own c@ck?
Hunter: What?! Dude. No. Conversation. Over.
Someone: I mean, you drink your own saliva. That's like tongue kissing yourself. You're totally self-gay! You think you're pretty hot, don't ya, huh?
Hunter: If I called you a b!tch and smacked the sh!t out of you, would that be like hitting a woman?
Someone: If you masturbate, then technically you're having sex with yourself.
Hunter: True. I think.
Someone: Well, that makes you gay. Or bisexual.
Hunter: I don't know exactly what it is that YOU think about while jerking off, but I ain't thinking about me.
Someone: The guys in prison ain't thinking about the soap-dropper.
Hunter: Yeah, but masturbation isn't exactly self-rape.
Someone: Well, did yourself ask yourself if it was okay to do that to yourself?
Hunter: Well, I didn't put up much of a fight. I'd say it was mutual consent.
Someone: Well, what if you met yourself from a parallel dimension and you two had synchronized psychic brains? Would you jerk him off?
Hunter: Maybe. That wouldn't make me gay. That'd make me a multi-dimensional traveler experimenting with the fabric of time and space. At that point, all rules of experimentation are off the table. Dude, if you had a f@cking multiple personality disorder, and one of them was a hot chick would you have a wet dream with her? I mean, hell, man...shut up.
Someone: Well, would you suck your own c@ck?
Hunter: What?! Dude. No. Conversation. Over.
Someone: I mean, you drink your own saliva. That's like tongue kissing yourself. You're totally self-gay! You think you're pretty hot, don't ya, huh?
Hunter: If I called you a b!tch and smacked the sh!t out of you, would that be like hitting a woman?
Come out of the "self-gay" closet, Mr. or Ms. Anonymous. It's okay. You're with friends here. :) We need to teach people it's okay to love and touch yourself.
ReplyDeleteI remember the first time I took myself to the movies...I mean, not like Pee Wee Herman though. :)