tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3450011439673188482011-11-02T11:29:54.030-07:00I apologize for not apologizing.Frenzy S. Hunter.http://www.blogger.com/profile/04247110220542400965noreply@blogger.comBlogger311100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-345001143967318848.post-29113842705234833652011-05-22T17:57:00.000-07:002011-05-22T17:57:00.657-07:00

This blog has served me well, but Tumblr is the new way. Please follow me there:  http://frenzyhunter.tumblr.com/ I'm not totally abandoning this blog, and maybe for some of my longer rantings I'll use it for those rare few who still enjoy reading long pieces.

Frenzy Hunterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01296787545847329934noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-345001143967318848.post-80157475794684972592010-12-12T18:52:00.000-08:002010-12-16T06:16:04.816-08:00

Target: Saint Nicholas Alias: Santa Claus Age: Unknown Occupation: Mad Scientist Charges against Santa: 1. Kidnapping and genetic manipulation of midgets to have pointy ears and speak in cheery songs. Also known as "elving." 2. The enslavement of aforementioned midget mutants. 3. Illegal gamma radiation exposure experiments on reindeer. 4. Unlicensed, unregistered aircraft operation. 5.

Frenzy Hunterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01296787545847329934noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-345001143967318848.post-927745530854163692010-11-20T17:27:00.000-08:002010-12-21T13:06:03.826-08:00

You mean to tell me that you can travel ten times the speed of light, bend space, create sentient robots, a personal matrix, rearrange molecules to make food, destroy planets and completely defy the physics of the vacuum of space by hearing explosions and lasers in space, but the Black dude is blind? C'mon! I mean, is it just coincidence that in the future Kunta Kinte is disabled--you know,

Frenzy Hunterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01296787545847329934noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-345001143967318848.post-15828683101312979462010-11-12T14:04:00.000-08:002010-11-12T14:07:36.336-08:00

This story is probably only unique to New Yorkers. Madam Mute Hunchback Eastern European Gypsy Lady with the Scarf on her Head, Carrying the Laminated Note Telling of Her Sick Child Back In Her Home Country. She gets on the train. You know her. She's part of a clone army. She works Lil Miss Surely Literate Bleeding Heart Backpacker Hippie Tourist Girl for at least half her trust fund. I

Frenzy Hunterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01296787545847329934noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-345001143967318848.post-72780948266581304882010-10-22T16:57:00.000-07:002010-10-22T16:57:29.846-07:00

Contrary to what would normally seem obvious, NYC sidewalks aren't made of concrete. They're made of centuries-worth of layers of a dog shit. New Yorkers let their canines crap anywhere. Those days = Over. Introducing a new agency in Homeland Security: The Pet Poop Police. Or more uncleverly known as PPP.  Do not call them the Poo-leese. First we'll start a DNA registry of all dogs at: The

Frenzy Hunterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01296787545847329934noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-345001143967318848.post-17134299568576868572010-10-07T14:10:00.000-07:002010-10-07T14:10:12.365-07:00

A really weird, possibly made-up discussion Someone:  If you masturbate, then technically you're having sex with yourself. Hunter:  True. I think. Someone:  Well, that makes you gay. Or bisexual. Hunter: I don't know exactly what it is that YOU think about while jerking off, but I ain't thinking about me. Someone:  The guys in prison ain't thinking about the soap-dropper. Hunter:  Yeah,

Frenzy Hunterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01296787545847329934noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-345001143967318848.post-295689981417932002010-09-30T07:43:00.000-07:002011-03-17T08:52:45.321-07:00

One day I heard this little girl rapping. Her mother was right there. Singing with her. A very trashy rap song. Now do you want your little princess singing raunchy, misogynistic, whorish rap songs? Have you ever caught her "droppin' it to da flo?" or "Droppin' it like it's hot?" and all those other disgusting dances better reserved for strip clubs? Well, that stripper is

Frenzy Hunterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01296787545847329934noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-345001143967318848.post-74257687661499802412010-05-23T02:16:00.000-07:002010-05-23T05:16:06.735-07:00

I rememberthe soft warm moist area, the perfect place. Trapped within freedom. Fish-gill'd and submerged in perfected temperature aqua, being massaged by flagella fingers on my every nerve ending.They say the younger one is, the slower time moves for them. So perhaps a zygote perceives eternity.Suddenly... What is this chaos?! I'm being pushed out...rejected by the pleasure, the sustenance. The

Frenzy Hunterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01296787545847329934noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-345001143967318848.post-70483540527711629442010-05-16T23:09:00.000-07:002010-05-17T01:29:45.154-07:00

Have you ever met a character who was just a bit more animated than most people?The kind who speaks very effeminately, maybe dresses in drag and kisses men?You know--Bugs Bunny.I'm not saying Bugs is gay. I'm just saying he occasionally dabbles in transvestism and gets his proverbial rocks off by teasing his ever-confused secret lover Elmer Fudd.Now I'm not saying Elmer's gay, but I think the

Frenzy Hunterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01296787545847329934noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-345001143967318848.post-2230779471795542202010-05-16T03:06:00.000-07:002010-05-16T03:15:51.673-07:00

Disclaimer: You should probably not believe most of this stuff. Probably.Today, 1836 years after his lord and savior was crucified, Edgar Allen Poe became [the hero of] R. Kelly, the self-proclaimed "Pied Piper of R&B."“Peddy Ed Poe,” as he was later known, was 27 when he married his prepubescent 13-year old cousin, Virginia “Aaliyah” Clemm, in a Presbyterian church. They wrote on the marriage

Frenzy S. Hunter.http://www.blogger.com/profile/04247110220542400965noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-345001143967318848.post-62463974455515645202010-05-10T02:00:00.000-07:002010-05-10T03:16:44.258-07:00

One day you're going to be as cool as a cyborg. With Super Duper Powers!!!I know you're telling yourself, "Caca del toro, Hunterino."Oh, but no. Would I lie to you? No. Because otherwise I'd just keep these super powers to myself and dominate you all. The proof is below.Just look what you get for signing up for the prototype stage:1.) Pseudo-TelekinesisFirst we've figure out how to operate

Frenzy Hunterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01296787545847329934noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-345001143967318848.post-81064136767532043612010-05-06T00:51:00.000-07:002010-05-06T02:18:53.628-07:00

Okay, so last night I had a another weird dream.There was a rap concert on a basketball court contained by barbed wire fencing. Apparently, even in my dreams rap concerts bore me.So I climbed the fence to escape. I saw why the barbed wire.Zombies.Hot Chick Zombies. In Bikinis.Zombified, ugly and rotting. But undeadly sexy. I mean, they were like Sirens of Greek mythology. You know the ones that

Frenzy Hunterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01296787545847329934noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-345001143967318848.post-16517934928880467082010-05-04T02:17:00.000-07:002010-05-04T02:33:00.893-07:00

Taxi: Where are you from?Hunter: Washington, D.C.Taxi: America? I hate Americans.Hunter: Hmph. So.Taxi: Do you know where I'm from? Can you guess?Hunter: No.Taxi: Go ahead. Guess.Hunter: No. Make this right. And a left at the roundabout.Taxi: I'm Pakistani.Hunter: That's nice.Taxi: You call me terrorist. And kill my people.Hunter: I don't call you a terrorist. I call

Frenzy Hunterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01296787545847329934noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-345001143967318848.post-29903511766577822542010-02-24T00:33:00.000-08:002010-02-24T00:58:04.608-08:00

On this day, one thousand nine hundred and fifty-five years after Christ allowed himself to be treated harshly because of a woman alive millennia before him bit a forbidden fruit of knowledge of good and evil, Steve Jobs was born. And he was good.But he was seduced by the dark side—also known as LSD—and dropped out of college. He then went to India to search for spiritual “enlightenment” through

Frenzy S. Hunter.http://www.blogger.com/profile/04247110220542400965noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-345001143967318848.post-36553841539631319292010-02-14T00:31:00.001-08:002010-02-14T00:38:56.487-08:00

Today is Valentine's Day, the day on which we celebrate love, romance, depression, guilt and regret.The holiday is named after Christian priest, St. Valentine, who was martyred on 14 February, 269 years after Christ was crucified in Rome--the place where the word "romance" originates, ironically...The tradition of exchanging love notes on Valentine's Day originates from Valentine himself. I don't

Frenzy S. Hunter.http://www.blogger.com/profile/04247110220542400965noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-345001143967318848.post-33789848208165986822010-02-03T23:35:00.000-08:002010-02-03T23:56:05.035-08:00

Today. 2004. Mark Zuckerburg launched what was at first called "The Facebook". These days it's known simply as Facebook, or WaceTime.The website's name comes from the student directory book with names and photos that's distributed to incoming students at many universities.Harvard sophomore Zuckerburg, a comp-sci major, had gotten the idea for doing an online facebook when he was slightly drunk on

Frenzy S. Hunter.http://www.blogger.com/profile/04247110220542400965noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-345001143967318848.post-70244816546332106682009-11-25T02:08:00.000-08:002009-11-25T02:29:09.238-08:00

I call it Spacism™. (n.) (spay-sissum): The irrational hatred and discrimination against all things related to science theory in the form of entertainment.And you are probably a SPACIST™.--------------------------------------If you think Star Trek is stupid, but don't realize you owe your mobile phone to an idea created there, you're a spacist. It was called the "Communicator." And it flipped

Frenzy S. Hunter.http://www.blogger.com/profile/04247110220542400965noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-345001143967318848.post-68228240139604216572009-03-22T22:03:00.000-07:002009-03-23T06:39:50.915-07:00

I've been searching for several months for a Mexican restaurant in Dubai. Finally, I found a place. A major franchise called On the Border.I order this burrito with some Spanish adjective that implies it's grande. It was more like a red pepper and onion wrap sprinkled with tofu-like chicken cubes. A dash of rice. A pinch of pinto bean beings. And their recipe seemed to not include cheese.The

Frenzy S. Hunter.http://www.blogger.com/profile/04247110220542400965noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-345001143967318848.post-8333042681282409402009-02-21T05:36:00.000-08:002009-02-21T10:47:27.565-08:00

Okay, first of all, for those of you who remember Grimace, what the fuck is he?According to Wikipedia--"The character [Grimace] was initially developed due to complaints about no minorities being present in McDonaldland." Yeah, because fat, stupid purple blob-creatures were complaining about not being represented by Earth's most fattening fast food chain. Chain?Also according to Wikipedia, while

Frenzy S. Hunter.http://www.blogger.com/profile/04247110220542400965noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-345001143967318848.post-21781247395660301982009-01-16T02:51:00.000-08:002009-01-17T20:38:54.152-08:00

I walked into this house party and this dude starts hitting on me. I mean, he acted like I was Penis Christ looking for disciples. Please, I don't want any stakes in my hand. I knew he was one of those homosexuals that pretend to be straight until they get a bit o' liquid courage in them. I guess he felt motivated to make a move on me because of my eccentric dress code. He assumed I was

Frenzy S. Hunter.http://www.blogger.com/profile/04247110220542400965noreply@blogger.com19tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-345001143967318848.post-91032747600730751692008-12-17T00:05:00.000-08:002008-12-17T00:31:56.844-08:00

I constantly hear non-Americans talk shit about America. They think it’s okay to do so because everyone does it. And Americans often tolerate it. I hear people from politically corrupt countries say how horrible and corrupt American politicians are. I hear people from countries which bomb each other tell me how violent America is. Or how we're such warmongers.I hear people from countries who’d

Frenzy S. Hunter.http://www.blogger.com/profile/04247110220542400965noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-345001143967318848.post-14788223205757624812008-10-18T11:37:00.000-07:002008-10-18T07:27:26.930-07:00

Disclaimer: I'm joking. So don't take this blog seriously.A horror is something that is horrible and horrific.But a terror, although is terrible, is not terrific, right?I digress. Anyway to the subject of discussion:So in the spirit of Hallowe'en, keep an eye out for horrorists. We are at war against horrorism. The horror level has been raised to orange. And black.I bet goth chicks hate

Frenzy S. Hunter.http://www.blogger.com/profile/04247110220542400965noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-345001143967318848.post-23271600074174134152008-10-13T00:56:00.000-07:002008-10-13T05:44:51.686-07:00

Every year the terror increases. If it ain't one thing, it's something else scaring the bejeezus out of you punk ass humans.…If it wasn’t aliens, it was the communists.If it wasn’t communists, it was a race war.If it wasn’t the Race War, it was The Big One. The earthquake that was to take off the east coast of the U.S. (which should’ve hit by now if I remember correctly.)Well, let’s bring to

Frenzy S. Hunter.http://www.blogger.com/profile/04247110220542400965noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-345001143967318848.post-5655556579239908042008-10-12T05:36:00.000-07:002008-10-12T08:06:18.071-07:00

What good is Spider-Man, say, if he is in a hick town, without tall buildings to swing from? None. You can’t get very far swinging from barns and trailer homes and shit like that. At least not in some parts of Georgia. He's gonna have to run. Really fast. Especially with that New York accent and mask that ain’t white and pointy. Boy, Ricky Ted and Jimmy Rick will hang you with that fancy city

Frenzy S. Hunter.http://www.blogger.com/profile/04247110220542400965noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-345001143967318848.post-26144507334613439722008-07-15T14:48:00.000-07:002008-07-15T14:51:15.991-07:00

Before we begin, for all my non-American friends: "Tap that ass" is a slang term meaning to have sex with. Generally vaginally, but not always so. But you can surely see how it's a confusing slang term. Unless, of course, it was created by gay dudes. Whatever the case may be, my profuse usage of the term in this blog is obviously meant toward a woman. A really hot woman. You all know her as

Frenzy S. Hunter.http://www.blogger.com/profile/04247110220542400965noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-345001143967318848.post-47556167851395137682008-06-25T18:06:00.000-07:002008-06-26T11:11:22.123-07:00

Here's a joke about black folk tipping(I just made it up):How much do you tip on a hundred dollar tab?Five dollars. (plus whatever coins less than quarters that are left over, since you paid in cash.)How much do you tip at Waffle House?One dollar. Two, if after exiting the club at 3a.m. (keep your coins, if you're sober).How much to you tip at a strip club?Make it rain! I'm buying the bar, trick!

Frenzy S. Hunter.http://www.blogger.com/profile/04247110220542400965noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-345001143967318848.post-54311228006693235832008-06-24T18:49:00.000-07:002008-06-25T12:10:09.971-07:00

This blog is about gangsta rappers who hate on G. Dubs.Okay, so gangster rapper specimen "A" who generally raps about being hated on, shooting haters, making money illegally (or through rapping), selling drugs, committing crimes, being a "boss," etc. decides to hate on Bush. Does anyone see the hypocrisy in that?Look here, punk ass...Just because Bush got a bigger gang than you, more gats, is a

Frenzy S. Hunter.http://www.blogger.com/profile/04247110220542400965noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-345001143967318848.post-42152238824990538502008-03-02T19:36:00.001-08:002008-03-06T12:29:23.952-08:00

(Disclaimer at the very bottom Also, if you see red x's where pics should be, just hit refresh. It's funny that way)A few nights ago on my best pal's birthday, I was forced to go to a club. And the DJ was horrible. He must've been on acid in a K-hole (google it). He kept spinning noise. No, really.  I mean, it was noise. A sort of on-beat warbly noise repeated incessantly.I mean, are you supposed

Frenzy S. Hunter.http://www.blogger.com/profile/04247110220542400965noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-345001143967318848.post-91233632663490155452007-12-20T14:02:00.000-08:002007-12-21T08:12:51.800-08:00

School is out for the holidays. So I came home early today and did something I haven't done in so long. I turned on the TV.There was a show on called This reality show has detectives with cameras following around a supposedly cheating mate. Then the person being cheated on jumps out of a van when the cheater is with the other person and proceeds to cry, yell or beat someone up. Of course this

Frenzy S. Hunter.http://www.blogger.com/profile/04247110220542400965noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-345001143967318848.post-75285860174776404172007-11-20T12:59:00.000-08:002007-11-20T13:09:09.598-08:00

It is impossible for a hermaprodite to be a transvestite or homosexual. Unless it has anal or oral sex with someone with no reproductive organs. Fondling counts, too.And it can't clone itself by impregnating itself. But you can tell it to go fuck itself. And if I were one, I'd fuck myself. I'd think it'd be better than masturbation. Or could you consider it masturbation? I mean, snails do it. And

Frenzy S. Hunter.http://www.blogger.com/profile/04247110220542400965noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-345001143967318848.post-18670400979559912842007-11-20T11:27:00.000-08:002007-11-20T12:55:43.976-08:00

I am hosting a new sports event this summer. It's called the Dumbolympics. You'll have to qualify first by submitting answers to the following questions: 1. Is meth a good source of vitamin X?2. Are mobile homes really mobile?3. Do you find three-story buildings too difficult to read?4. Do you know for a fact that Jesus wore a mullet?If you answered yes or no to any of those questions, then

Frenzy S. Hunter.http://www.blogger.com/profile/04247110220542400965noreply@blogger.com1